hot potato

you know what to call a baby who hasn't pooped in 5 days?  a hot potato. 
every raised eyebrow, constriction of the belly, flushing of the cheeks and certainly any grunting and you're looking to pass the baby off tout de suite so that you're not stuck cleaning up a mess that would make a zookeeper weep.  of course, you try to do this nonchalantly so that you dont put your spouse on high alert that the baby is primed to poop through all her clothes, all your clothes, and the upholstery.  oh hey pat, can you hold the baby for me until she explodes all over you and requires 35 minutes of clean up, a bath, and 2 loads of laundry.  ill take her back as soon as you clean her up.  this would be met with a sentiment somewhere between reluctance and indignation. and, in any event, she probably wouldnt poop until the moment he handed her back to me. 

* i realize that now 50% of my posts are poop related.  im thinking of renaming the blog Bowel Movements with Bayly.