Goddamn it amazon

I ordered a 48 inch kiddie trampoline on Sunday bc I wanted it on Monday but I was, reluctantly, willing to wait until Tuesday. This morning I got your email apologizing for the delay in shipping me my stupidly expensive trampoline. What the hell? When Lula falls off this inflatable mattress and breaks her collarbone or knocks out her teeth I will blame you Amazon. You and nobody but you.

Ps: here's hoping this calamity doesn't happen today bc pat has the crv and I would have no way to transport my 2 amigos to the er.